First we form habits, then they form us. Conquer your bad habits, or they'll
eventually conquer you.
Dr. Rob Gilbert
Many people live unfulfilled, unhappy and frustrating lives because they are
tied down by bad habits that appears uncontrollable. For many it is illicit and uncontrolled sex, for some it is chronic lust, for some other its is anger, you
name it. Everyone has a bad habit he or she battles. Like somebody rightly said
'The greatest battle a man has ever fought is the battle of self'. Many people
have yielded to their fate because they have already concluded that they can
not change their lives.
But that is a big lie from the pit of hell. You can change and live the kind of life you really desire to live. You can become more responsible. You can direct the activities of your life because their is unlimited power inside of you that once you key into it ,change becomes inevitable. I have battled, struggled with many bad behaviors which I thought I could not change until I learn t what I am going to share with you briefly.
Change is actually one of the hardest work a man can undertake in the
course of his life. Habits are what we form by repetition and we become what we
repeatedly do. Many of us form bad habits without even know ing it until it grows
bigger and land us into a big mess. So as young people we must be careful with
the kind of attitudes and habits we adopt. Any habit that devalues and reduce
you is a bad habit. Any habit that disgust others rather than encouraging others
is also a bad habit. We first form habits then habits form us.
I once had a story of a young man who was employed to a new firm, on
the second day of his resumption, he stole a huge amount of money, he fled and
that was how he lost a million dollar Job. A job that could have sustain his
financial deprivations. I began to ask my self, but that money would definitely
finish? How is he going to replenish himself if he finally lavish that money?
You see, I discovered that, not that the boy didn't have a brain to think about
this, he has conscious, but just that his bad habit which is stealing has become
uncontrollable for him. So there is power in an habit, so in your getting , get the
right habit. We have discuss much on the effect and power of an habit, so let
us see how you can change your bad habit and get you life back on track.
The first step...........
FESS UP
To fess up is to admit you are
wrong. Before you can actually think of changing whatever habit that
besets you, you must admit and agree that you have one. Many young people are
not sincere with themselves, they deceive themselves in the expense of their
lives without even knowing it. You must first acknowledge that yes' I have a bad habit,' you must
begin to see how your bad habits have degraded you core values, how it has
caused havoc to many people, how it has affected your relationship with people,
even how it is wounded your integrity, how it has punched you psychologically
and be sorry for it. Admit
that your fine brick of your character and attitudes has a flaw somewhere. I
believe that was why Jesus told us 'Whoever covereth his sins shall not
prosper" He too understands this. Don't be like the young man in the bible
who bought all the good things of life to offer to God as his thanksgiving while he kept malice with his neighbor, he taught he could deceive God. But God
rejected his offerings and told him to go back first to reconcile with his
neighbor before He could accept his offerings. Don't cover your bad habits,
fess up admit you truly have one then that is when the change you desire will
start its manifestations.
The second step......
DESIRE
The question is do you really want to change? Do you really want to get your
life back on track? How desirous are you? Many of us want to change, but a few
of us really desire to change. If we want to become more responsible of our
life we must develop a burning desire inside of you. You must get to a level
where your bad habit becomes disgusting to you, otherwise you just keep
complaining and never take a cogent step towards change. True change begins
with an unquenchable hunger, a kind of thirst. A change can never be initiated
if it does not come from the hearts of your heart. If it does not come from the
innermost part of your being. Robert Collier said 'Plant a desire in your mind
and it forms a nucleus with power to attract to itself everything needed for
its fulfillment" Bukky a good friend of mine once shared with me how She
changed a bad habit that gripped her for about 2 years "Sex haunted me
down like a predator grips its prey, it took away my dignity and left me empty
and unwholesome before God. But I began to change when I took up great courage
and a deep desire to change". It is a fact that if truly you want to
change that bad habit, you must have a burning desire to change it.
The THIRD step.....
DISCIPLINE
Someone once defined discipline as 'the ability to do what you ought to do
even if you feel like not doing it and the ability not to do what you don't want to do even when you feel like doing it' Discipline is self control, self
mastery. Change requires a great doze of self discipline. You must learn to
have self control over your bad habits, though it looks hard at times, but as
you stretch your discipline muscles you become more powerful, the more you
strive to control your urges, your desires and your habits, the less they take
their toll on you. Many of us have allowed our flesh to take total control of
our lives. We give it everything it demands of us. To be more responsible or to
be able to take full charge of your life you must be a person that strives to
suffer your flesh. Eze another friend of mine was a chronic smoker, like he
share with me, he used to take 3 packs of cigarette everyday, but his life took
a new shape the moment he began to apply discipline. He said "I began to
avoid some friends even if I never wanted to lose their company, I began to
take the other way home instead of that kiosk where I love buying cigar
from" As a lady, if sex is the habit you want to stop, then stop paying
visits to that that friend of yours, who leads you into doing it. Burn those
sex magazines you have in your house, do away with those films that stirs
lust. So learn to apply a little doze of discipline and your bad habit will
gradually dwindle.
The FOURTH step.....
GRACE
Like a young minister once told his congregation,he said "My brethren,
to make heaven his beyond your physical strength, you need the grace for the
race". That man understood that "by strength will no man
prevail" You must understand that in the true sense of it, you can not
change yourself. Change fly on the wings of grace. If you think you can do it
yourself you realize you find yourself still doing that thing you are struggling
to stop. It is beyond our physical powers or strength, it takes a special grace. For
you to expedite you good habits , you must learn to pray for
God's grace. Make your ordeals, your pain and problems known unto him and he will
heal your wounds.Apostle Paul battled tooth and nail with the lust of the flesh and
he screamed in pain "What I do not want to do is what, I find myself
doing" He never wanted it, but he find himself doing it. But when Apostle Paul got
the answer to his problem, he learn to put everything under God's control
when he said "I can do all things through Christ that strengthens
me". For you to change, you need more than just physical strength, you
need an emotional and spiritual strength. Always remind God of your bad
habits and keep taking the steps above and you will stop and change
effortlessly.
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